Helping you prepare for the day of our Lord

The Quintessential way to Grow your Church is to Understand and Implement Hospitality!

Key Passages: Matthew 25:34-43; Luke 10:30-37; Acts 4:32; Romans 12:13; 16:33; 1 Timothy 5:10; Hebrews 13:2; 1 Peter 4:7-11; 3 John 1:5-8

How would you define Hospitality?

Are you a hospitable person? What about with people you do not like? You may not have to invite them into your home, but how do you treat them? How do you treat people at church? Really, how do you? Most people in any given church would say they are not treated well as far as feeling welcomed or connected! Yes, our church is different, and perhaps much better than others, but I believe we can be even better for our Lord’s glory!

One of the most important calls that Christ gives His church is to be welcoming to people. We are His ambassadors (2 Cor. 5:20), so, Jesus uses us to be His welcoming arms to draw people from the outside into His presence! He is the Seeker; we are the ones He seeks, and sometimes we are the ones He uses to seek others. It is God’s desire that all of His children will be saved, and, yet, few will accept His grace. It is the role of the Holy Spirit to save people, and we are the instruments through which He works. So, we must be a church who welcomes not only Believers, but also those who may never before in their lives have been inside of a church. This ministry of Hospitality has the role of being His ambassador.

Our role is: “Welcoming people and Connecting people into the life of the church.”

This may be hard at first until we get our welcoming “sea legs.” As our American culture is so individualistic, we tend not to bother with others, assuming they can take care of themselves. After all, we have brochures and signs everywhere. So, you may wonder, where do I fit in? We fit in to be the human warm touch, encouraging others with a smile, and making others feel special, because they are. It is our endeavor to help you learn how to be more welcoming, and give you the tools to improve. In that way, we can be the church that God has called us to be!

Why Study Hospitality?

When we know how we are and how we come across to others, then compare that to what God has called us to, we will be able to realign ourselves to His precepts, grow in our character and maturity, and serve Him better! Why? Because, we are given an incredible gift, one which we could never earn; because, He first loved us. We do not need to do anything; we do not need to be hospitable. And, the fact is most Christians are not; that is why most churches are dead (along with no real teaching). But, because we are saved, because we are forgiven, and because He loves us, we will choose to respond out of our gratitude for what He has done for us. We can choose to be hospitable even though we may not be naturally inclined to do so. Because we desire to love, and serve Him and His people, we are to love, care, and be hospitable.   

The Definition of Hospitality

Hospitality is a willingness to share, with discernment, what God has given us, including our family, home, finances, and food. It is an attitude of stewardship, where we do not own anything because we are merely the caretaker for the real owner, God. He desires that we share His stuff and His love, and we comply out of reverence and gratitude to Him. In relationships, it is honoring the boundaries of others, and sharing all we have without strings attached. In the church, it is to be welcoming, regardless how we may feel (Matthew 25:34-43; Luke 10:30-37; Romans 12:13: 16:3-16; 1 Timothy 5:10; Hebrews 13:1-3; 1 Peter 4:7-11; 3 John 5-8).

·        Here are positive examples from Scripture (Genesis 12:14-20; 20:4-15; 1 Kings 17:10-24; Luke 19:1-10; Acts 16:14-15; 28:2)

·        Here are negative examples from Scripture (Numbers 20:18-21; 21:21-31; Judges 19:15; 1 Samuel 25:10-38; Luke 9:51-5610:30-37)                                              

The First thing we all must ask ourselves is this: Is the Character of Hospitality working in me?

We need to ask this before we undertake this ministry. If not, we will not be good at this at all! We will be the noise of 1 Corinthians 13:1, instead of the love of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. We have to be willing to take a look under our hood (Galatians 2:20-21; 6: 3-5), the hood of how we come across to others—our personality, disposition, and our attitude. This is critical stuff! When we get ourselves right in our character to the best of our ability (as none of us will be perfect, Romans 3), and in a growing fashion, we then can better serve Him with real, authentic passion and conviction.

How can I find out?

Take a careful look at this character and fruit of Hospitality from God’s most precious Word, by examining the passages above. Now ask yourself:

1.      How do I exhibit Hospitality in my daily life? Such as, how do I treat my neighbors? How do I come across to people when I am at church? If someone came up to me or sat next to me, how would they feel about me? 2 Corinthians 5:20 tells us, "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us." Therefore, our actions and reactions tell others who we are and who we are representing. Will it be your bad day, or Christ’s love? What message are you sending?  

2.      What can I do to develop a better willingness to be Hospitable and to value people? Do you realize that everyone with whom you come in contact is a valued child of God who is deeply loved, and that Christ would have died just for them, as He did for you? "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). It is not possible for us to be best friends with everyone in our life, but what we can do is be friendlier and show Christ’s love to others so that they say, “Hey, this church is great, because the people treated me good!” “Most people leave a church not because of the preacher or doctrine, even though that is important, but because how they were treated.” (from “Pew-Sitting,” a 10 year research study on why churches fail, doctoral dissertation by R. J. Krejcir, 1992- 2002)  

3.      What blocks Hospitality from working and being exhibited in me? There are times when our daily lives are in chaos—from getting the kids ready for church, a fight with the spouse, problems at work, or problems with our health—to name a few. So, when we bump into others, we bring with us all of our stuff in life—our feelings, anger, experiences, joys, fears, and expectations. In 2 Corinthians 4:18, we read, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  We must learn how to govern our emotions and expectations so our eyes are upon our Lord and not on others or ourselves. When we do this, we can much better accept our “stuff” and count it as Joy (James 1:1-3); we can treat others in the manner we would like, and, most importantly, how Christ would like!  

4.      How can I make Hospitality function better, stronger, and faster, even in times of uncertainly and stress? After you have taken that honest look under your personality hood, what did you find? Now, what can you do to start to implement what Christ has called you to in temperament and attitude? First, consider the spiritual disciplines of the Faith, such as daily Bible reading, real prayer, where your needs are not the only item on the table, and be a learner—be willing to learn and grow. If you have trouble, then consider pride as the main problem. John 3:30 tells us, “He must become greater; I must become less.” We have to purge pride so He is more and we are less!  

Why is all of this important?

That means for someone to feel comfortable at your church, he needs to make a connection, build a relationship, and feel welcomed. People need to feel that this church is their church. This is even more important than our teaching and doctrine (which is essential, too!). Have you ever wondered why the Mormons are growing and are so popular, even with a corrupt theological system? Because they know how to treat people! When you walk into a Mormon Temple, you are welcomed; you feel they care for you! You may overlook the illogical and false teachings because you are with family, people who love you and who are coming across as authentic. People need to feel validated, and they need a sense of belonging. The Church is to fill this role, but all too often, other things that are corrupt fill in that gap. That is why drug abuse is so rampant and why you see jet skis being towed by RV’s on Sundays. People will find a place to belong; let us make them welcome in our church!

Most Christians assume since we have good teaching we do not need to bother with care. This is contradictory to Scripture. A week does not go by that I do not talk with someone at our church who tells me they attended worship services for weeks, months, even years, and nobody has ever talked to them! When this happens, we become the backdoor; people will leave our church because they never developed connections and relationships because people did not care or reach out to them! Some people are bold and friendly and make those connections naturally themselves, while others are more reserved and others need to go to them. Will you be the one to go out of your way to give a kind word and an invite? You are the person who is called to reach out. If you think, “Hey, I do not have the gift of hospitality!”—most of us do not; however, we are still called to do so. The people with the gift of hospitality will be better at it, and motivate the rest of us to do it.

Let us look at what happens when we do not do as God calls:

Unfriendliness, Inhospitality, Animosity, and being Annoyed are the opposites of being hospitable. These ill-begotten feelings will allow you to push others away, and give up precious friendships as well as opportunities for personal growth through networking, connections, and fellowship. These are rotten fruits (Galatians 5:19-21) of egocentricity, as you only see the world as it revolves around you, and you miss seeing the value of others. With this attitude, you will not develop good friendships or be effective in the church, neighborhood, or workplace.  Hospitality will make the difference—you can make the difference!

            Unfortunately, what normally happens in the Church as a whole is strife, dysfunction, gossip, and slander, because our pride gets in the way of His call. Thus, being people who are welcoming or the exercise of our gifts will be neutralized, turned into weapons of dysfunction. Instead of reaching out and discipling, we fight amongst ourselves, or develop false doctrines. The Body cannot do things well or function when we are puffed-up with ourselves. We cannot function by pretending, or out of hate. For us to be used by Christ effectively, we must be infused with love and do our part with joy.

Hospitality is rendering unto others what God has given us, including comfort, and the sharing of our food and friendship. It is often considered to be a Spiritual Gift. As a Spiritual Gift, Hospitality is the ability to provide an open house and a warm welcome to those in need of food and lodging (Acts 16:14-15; Romans 12:9-13; Romans 16:23; Hebrews 13:1-2; 1 Peter 4:9).

Hospitality also means we are contributing to the development and growth of our family, friends, and fellow Christians. Hospitality is the door to discipleship. Without hospitality, Discipleship cannot function—and Discipleship is the quintessential call that Christ gives us, the Church, to do, above all else (Matthew 28: 18-20)! We must be willing to go beyond our preconceived needs, comforts, and ideas to provide an ambiance which contributes to the physical and spiritual growth of people around us. If we do not, how will they know we are Christians? If we do not, how will Discipleship and the growth of the Church happen? It is not just a gift—it is a call to us all! So, exhibit good Hospitality by practicing Godly Character and good social etiquette. Be the one to help others feel important. Be the one who returns the kindnesses you are given. Be the first one to greet visitors who come to your church, and invite them to your home for fellowship, and lunch. Godly Hospitality will not expect anything in return!