|
Just A Mother at the BMV
A few months ago, I was picking up the children at school, another
mother I knew well rushed up to me. Carol was fuming with indignation.
“Do you know what you and I are? She demanded. Before I could answer
(and I didn’t really have one handy) she blurted out the reason for her
question.
It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver’s her
driver’s license at the county clerk’s office. Asked by the woman
recorder to state her occupation, Carol had hesitated, uncertain how to
classify herself. “What I mean is,” explained the recorder, “do you have
a job or are just a...?”
“Of course I have a job,” snapped Carol. “I’m a mother.”
“We don’t list ‘mother’ as an occupation..’housewife’ covers it,”
said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same
situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The clerk was obviously a
career woman, poised, efficient, and poof a high-sounding title like
“Town registrar” or “Official Interrogator”.
“And what is your occupation?” she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. “I’m
a research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human
relations.”
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as
though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing
the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous
pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official
questionnaire.
“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest. “Just what you do in
your field?”
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself
reply, “I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn’t) in
the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and
out).
I’m working for my Masters (the whole family) and already have four
credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding
in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) And I often work 14
hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than
most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather
than just money.”
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As
I drove into our driveway. Buoyed up by my glamorous new career. I was
greeted by lab assistants-ages 13, 7. And 3. Upstairs I could hear our
new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone
on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable
to mankind than “just another mother.”
Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there’s a title
on the door.
Whether a stay at home Mom or a career Mom, we should all carry this
title.
|